She was talking and you were somewhere else.
You've got a name for it. Tired. Long day. Brain full. You've said it so many times it comes out before she finishes asking.
Twenty-one years ago a man asked a room of strangers why he couldn't listen to his wife. The answer he eventually gave himself is the one nobody says out loud.
He said most of his not listening was subtle anger. Working hard every day, providing, and still being told it wasn't enough. So some part of him stopped coming to the conversation. Not a decision. A strike nobody announced.
Sit with that for a second, because the tired story is more comfortable and you know it.
Tired goes away with sleep. This doesn't. This is a grievance so old it stopped feeling like one and started feeling like who you are. Quiet guy. Bad listener. Head somewhere else.
Nobody in the house knows there's a strike on. Including, most days, you. The picket line is just your face while she talks.
The one thing:
Next time you catch yourself drifting while somebody close to you is mid-sentence, don't come back yet. Ask the drift one question first.
Tired, or owed?
You'll have your answer before she finishes the sentence.
Josh
P.S. I finished my 30-day Ash Journal run on July 30. In public, one page a day, no edits, all thirty.
Five minutes. One prompt. One line of ash. The first seven days are free: truevitalyou.com/journal