There's a belief that runs deep in most people who care. That choosing yourself means abandoning someone else. That your needs and their needs sit on opposite ends of a scale, and one has to lose.
It feels true. It feels like the math checks out.
It doesn't.
Disappearing into other people's needs doesn't make you generous. It makes you unavailable, slowly, to yourself and eventually to them.
Choosing yourself isn't selfish. It's what keeps you present enough to actually show up for the people you love. Not the exhausted, resentful version. The real one.
You don't have to choose between being good to others and being honest with yourself. That's a false trade most people never question.
You're allowed to question it.
One thing:
Notice one place where you've been framing self-care as selfishness and let that frame loosen.
— Josh